Sunday, August 9, 2009

Vent

You used to be the one that always had my back

but true friendship is something that we lack

You used to be the one that was always there

now its as if we dont even care

Its almost like we are becoming emenies

-secretly-

Every one can see it

But we try to hide it

Pretending can only get us so far

Before our friendship turns

into hatrid

And we become strangers

Dont you see?

That you were my bestfriend

But you shut me out and lie to me

Leaving me out

Becuase life is hard

And people change

But im always

Trying to be here

Even when things go so bad

Even when I'M in the wrong

I just dont know how to get through

To you anymore...

empty heart

as the empty days pass by the drift of coldness rolls down your spine and it dawns on you that it will never be the same, as it once was. never will you have that fullness in your heart, there is always that empty section of your heart that feels heavy and helpless. as the sky turns from blue to gray you look up and close your eyes wishing that life wouldnt be so hard. we shall move on and let go of everything that was once perfect and full of happiness. its time to realize that we need to charish what we once had and never let the memoires go just the fact that it will never be the same. Its time to gather the broken pieces and let some one else glue them back together.

Forgive, but dont forget

Forgive me that I ever cared

Frgive me that I ever loved you

Forgive me that I was there

When no one eles was

Forgive me that I held your hand

When you were down

Forgive me that I sat on the phone

And listened to you cry because you

Thought no one cared about you

Forgive me that I had feelings for you

Forgive me that I came into your life

And I changed you

Forgive me for trying to

Make a difference in your life

So that you know that some one does love you

Forgive me for I came and helped you when you

Were down

Forgive me for I thought that you loved me

Unconditionally

Forgive me that I was wrong

That I was wrong for loving you

Please forgive me

But never forget me

Behind these eyes

Behind these eyes lies terror

terror of hunger

Behind these eyes lies struggle

struggle of surviving

Behind these eyes lies discrimination

Discrimination from the outside world

Behind these eyes lies pain

Pain from every day life

Behind these eyes lies restless night

Restless nights from no sleep

Behind these eyes lies tears

Tears from pain

Behind these eyes they are calling out

Calling out for help

Help to survive

Survive to live

Until tomorrow brings a new day

Until then

You will never know what lies

Behind these eyes

There's a hell deep inside her
Burning bright with all its flames
There's a torturing chamber in her heart
That she can't seem to shake
There's a hell deep inside her
It comes to engulf her every night
There's a hell that's big and furious
It makes her hide in fear
There's a hell deep inside her
And it licks its greedy mouth
For it would love to eat her all
And many times its come just about
But somehow she stifles it
Like the pot, she's found the lid
But it still sizzles torments at her
And it steams over with what he did
There's a hell deep inside her
It only soaks out when she screams
It laps back up with all the memories
That she hides behind the scenes
There's a hell deep inside her
That shows no sign of ever seeing light
The part of her that died that night
And the one who let her husband make her cry
There's a hell deep inside her
That she awakens time to time
To curse herself to stay in its depths
For all her confused sense of self crime
And once in a blue moon curse the world
For the torment its built her in her heart
For the robbery of that young woman
She wants to tear the world all apart
But there still stays a hell deep inside her
No matter how she scratches or screams or kicks
For the hell has been long made within her
And into its spiral, she often does slip
Will she ever be free of the hell
That beats at her from behind her eyes?
If you listen real close you can hear it
Trying to cleanse itself between her cries

The hard days after

Those days were some what cold
Trying to sink away
Hoping not to be noticed
So the pain would just disappear

The scars he gave me
Will always be there
A reminder of a place
That is so very bare

Holding the tears in
As the memories stay in my mind
They become real again
Every time I think of him

The thought he controls me
Spins my mind to bits
My innocence has gone
And will never be forgotten

I wished I was somewhere else
maybe I deserve this
He blames it on me
and he is right, it is my fault

He treats me like crap
Just throwing me around
I’m broken up inside
And left lying on the ground

My life was once worth living Now, I am not so sure
I’d give anything to be normal
Even though I’m not worth much

I was out-going and strong
Happy with my life
Until this bomb shell hit me
I just want to curl up and cry

The dreams are just repeating
Not stopping when I wake
Like I’m still living
That awful hate

Those days before all this happened
Seems like such a fairytale
All I feel is empty, Dead inside

Not even my kids can help

Not being able to turn back
Is such an awful thought
Surviving all this
Is just something else...

Lets walk

Headed down this path
Not sure what lies ahead
Still tryin to figure out
who we are, what we want
but we know one thing

We are in this together
We're not alone
Yeah we'll be strong
Tomorrow's a mystery
and today's an adventure
So take my hand
and lets walk

Everything seems to
bring on the tears
hurt pours from the radio
heartache comes with every breath
Some days are bad
Some days are good
But we know one thing

We are in this together
We're not alone
Yeah we'll be strong
Tomorrows a mystery
and todays an adventure
so take my hand
and lets walk

So take a walk with me
Down the long dark road
Til we see the sun
and we'll always know

We are in this togther
we're not alone
yeah we'll be strong
Tomorrows a mystery
and todays an adventure
So take my hand
and lets walk

Burn

There's a reflection of pain in her eyes
as she fights back those tears
Trying to figure out why she stays around
Innocence gone
just taken away

And now she burned all his pictures
She cries herself to sleep
Screaming to the night
Praying for day
Cuz all she can do
is bleed

Tries to tell someone but
they dont believe her cries
Just another girl getting attention through lies
she keeps thinking maybe he wont hurt me today
Perfect smile
Broken Soul

And now she burned all his pictures
She cries herself to sleep
Screaming to the night
Praying for day
Cuz all she can do
is bleed

Living in this situation
she just cant control
Loses her self respect
When he walks through the door

Fed up and full of hope
she tried to fight back
he pulled out a knife
all she saw was black
Out of misery
Out of pain

And now she burned all his pictures
She cries herself to sleep
Screaming to the night
Praying for day
Cuz all she can do
is bleed

Pulled out of her nightmare
sees she's still alive
He is gone, yet she notices the spot
from her lips come a
sorrow filled, heartbreaking weep


Everyday she fakes a laugh and a smile
says she's okay, joking all the while
but deep inside she feels dead
once she's alone,
the sheets will be stained

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Alright

Bottled up inside
are the things I never said,
the feelings that I hide,
the lines you never read.
you can see it in my eyes,
read it on my face.
trapped inside lies
the past I cant replace

But somehow some way everything will be alright

With memories that linger
and wont seem to go away
why cant I be happy
todays a breand new day
yesterday is over
even though the hurting is not
Nothing last forever
I must cherish what I've got

I've never felt like this before
A bond so strong it cant be broken
all I've ever wanted
now youve get me for life and
the feeling I have now
wont ever disappear

but somehow somewhat everything will be alright

yeah alright

with memories that linger
and wont seem to go away
why cant I be happy
todays a brand new day
yesterday is over
even thought the hurting is not
nothing last forever
I must cherish what ive got

I'm leaving now
to slay the foe
fight my battles
high and low
hear me go
wish me luck
everything will be alright

ive grown my wings I want to fly
seize my victories where they lie
im going to try to not cry
just gonna find my way
i want to see and touch and hear
though there are dangers, thoughts and fears
Ill smily my smiles and wpe my tears


with memories that linger
and wont seem to go away
why cant I be happy
todays a new day
yesterday is over
even though the hurting is not
nothing lasts forever
i must cherish what Ive got

I lost my world my dreams and all my hopes
i gotta carve my niche sew my seams
but always remember as I sail my seas
Ill love you all the way

all the way
cause somehow
someway
everything will be alright